The Man I Was Poem by David Self

Slowly lose myself day by day,
Sometimes feeling controlled I may say.
I'm no longer feeling myself,
But a weaker version of me.
Sometimes feeling like a child,
I can't seem to find a day that's mild.
Can't sleep and hate being awake,
Just had enough at times of what this life takes.
I'm ready when it ends,
I can no longer bend.
Life is for living not like this,
Sometimes this takes the piss.
One day I will have my last day,
And I will say was that it.
So many things I should have done,
So many things I could have done.
Days pass but feel the same,
Every morning starts with blame.
People talk but I drift away,
With less and less I want to say.
Smiles fade before they're seen,
I'm stuck somewhere in between.
Not fully lost, not fully here,
Just living side by side with fear.
I miss the person I once knew,
The one who laughed the whole day through.
Now every step feels hard to take,
Like every part of me could break.
Still somehow I carry on,
Though all the strength I had feels gone.
Maybe deep inside of me,
There's still a man I hope to be.
Maybe one day things will change,
And life won't feel so cold and strange.
Maybe peace will find my mind,
And leave this heavy weight behind.