The Passing Poem by asa sas

I enjoy the coldness of silence and being alone.
but now I feel empty, null, sad for every second passing.
I want to stay still but time keeps me moving.
I want to lay down but this world keeps dragging.
get up! it say. hold your ground! it say.
but no! I just don't want a fight this day.
I just want to lay down and reminisce.
maybe its better it happened this way,
no more pain, no more sufferring,
no more deep thinking.
about problems that keeps us hangging.
I dont know if it is from what just happened,
but im very afraid to what will happen next.
oh God! please! just don't,
but who am I to ask question
or do some reason.
I know its Gods plan and will,
and thats how life works.
but it hurts! ! ! it hurts alot! ! !
I wish I can buy medicine for this.