The Perfect Citizen Poem by A. P. Herbert

O perfect citizen (if you exist),
Who never make the errors that you might,
Neither complacent nor a pessimist,
Not apathetic either—but just right;

Who do not squander yet decline to hoard;
Whom Charity need never pester twice;
Whose modest savings, all the same, have soared;
Whose respirator is not full of mice;

Whose torch is not too bright or held too high;
Who do not drop tram tickets in the street;
And if you saw Montgomery pass by
Would think it not a matter to repeat;

Who would not buy a turkey if you could;
And pay your Income Tax with quiet joy;
And think the Government is rather good—
Sir, we salute you. Keep it up, old boy.
February 6, 1944