The Pretender Poem by Siobhan Niven

I want to know who I am, I always wonder
but who do I ask, who even knows me?
When to myself a mystery I am
A Shadow, A noise from inside
Willing me to be, to do, to create
The creation of every step I take
Every choice I make in a life
Which confuses me, Doesn't allow me
To know who I really am
The pretender
Or is it really me, my thoughts like to puzzle me
Make it hard to see, hard to know which is true
The person I am, am I to you?
No silence, No rest
A buzzing in my head, and heaviness in my chest
So Strange, cold and numb
But pain it often comes
To break me, wear me down and strangle
All of the life of the person I try to be
To force out the real me
The one I hide from, I escape from
I fear and run from
Which pretender is really true
Is it who I am to me, or who I am to you?