The Rat Moot Poem by Amy J Richardson

Humans see rats in two ways, in darkness or in light,
The cutest people of them all, or creatures of the night.
The rats thought it was time at last, for choices to be made,
'Let's call a moot! ' their leader said, to end this false charade.
What is this moot? We'll now be clear, it's a conference of sorts,
An assembly every rat attends, to speak and share their thoughts.
A gathering for all to come, where papers would be signed,
A meeting where each voice decides, the fate of all ratkind.

Well first to speak was Flitt the Bold, who needed no persuasion,
To start debating with a tale, most apt on this occasion:
'My human's heart is good as gold, on that I can depend,
'I adore the way she treats me like, her pocket-sized best friend.
'I don't deny I think it's true, I'm always by her side,
'I go about the house sat on, a sky-high shoulder ride'.
'Oh Yes! ' cried Flitt's young sister, Flute, 'that's true as true can be,
'Our human is my best friend too, on that we can agree,
'She feeds us well with fruit and veg, with grain and garden peas,
'I even get my favourite food - warm macaroni cheese, '
'Well I can eat the whole day long', Fat Jaffa clearly boasted,
'My human knows I like my bread, with jam and lightly toasted'
'Hold up! Hold up! ' A wildie said, 'I'm sorry to be rude,
'So all you do is just look cute, and humans give you food? '
'I find that quite preposterous', a second wildie stated,
'I have to search for food each day, it's much more complicated,
'For sometimes I don't find a thing, it can be rather humbling,
'To fight for food and never win, it leaves my tummy rumbling'.
A wildie cried out, 'Less of food! ' and all stood to attention,
'We simply must face all the facts, I hate to have to mention:
'Among the humans, most believe, that every small life matters,
'But when we see the news today, that picture surely shatters',
The wildie, he continued 'I, regret it must be said:
'It's all the non-believers when, they say we're best off dead'
Well, grief and shock rolled round the room, til Flitt the Bold brought calm,
'Settle down my friends' she said, 'you will not come to harm'.

So here we are amidst the rats, the moot was going well,
Next with a tiny hand held high, was Treacle's time to tell -
'Some humans state our tails are gross, and that's just their perspective,
'They're for balance and for temperature, they're really quite effective.
'And all the time I bathe myself, I wash and primp and preen,
I groom myself and cagemates too, we're really very clean'.
'Hush now, girl, you‘ve got it wrong, ' a wildie interjected
'Humans fear another plague, and think we're all infected,
'Let it be known it was not us, who brought on such disease,
'Though we bore the blame for it, it was carried by our fleas,
'Now of those fleas we know of course, we're harbouring a few,
'But wildies live outside all year, and fleas live outside too'.

Then Peanut piped 'Our feral friends, don't let our looks be marred,
'What of our endearing charm, what of our cute façade.
'This button nose, these and perky ears, our bright and shining eyes,
'My hands are even shaped like stars, and never mind our size -
'We're a furry, squishy handful, any larger and you're joking,
'We're sweet, affectionate and fun, with tummies made for stroking.
'We never shout or break the peace, we speak in squeaks and peeps
'And of every personality, it comes in heaps and heaps'.
'I've never heard', then Peanut said, 'of no one as of yet,
'Who ever said with all their hearts, we're not the perfect pet'.

So on this went for hours more, til cases were disputed.
They debated and discussed all night, til all subjects were mooted.
To mark the ending of the moot, the seated slowly raised,
Participants were thanked for it, and everyone was praised.
Flitt the Bold, then took the stage, to clear all confusion,
'This meet has been a great success, and this is our conclusion:

'It's come to light we all agree, that we should be subjected
'To kindness and politeness and, we all should be respected.
'Our domestic friends shall be adored, and wildies shall be fated,
'To be left alone by those who care, or caught and relocated.
'To humans almost everywhere, why won't you hear our plea?
'It must be spread both far and wide, we're not the fiends you see'.

All the kinds of ratties then, prepared to head back home,
As it was fixed at length in stone, in final monochrome.
Yet despite the best resulting rule, on how rats should be treated,
Both tame and wildie all agreed, they felt a little cheated:
The rat moot lasting word was this: most human souls are good,
But it's the fate of all ratkind,
To stay misunderstood.


In memory of Treacle, Millie, Peanut, Pepper, Flitt, Nimh, Saffy, Pi, Flute, Jiggy, Noodle, Pookie, Mumble, Jaffa and Mally.