The Silent Escapist Poem by kaavyaa kriday

I see you walking towards me
I try to run away
There’s so much bottled up inside of me
That I can't find the right words to say

But now the time has passed
And you are at a distance
When, till some moments ago
You were only at an arm’s length.
That was when I wanted to pull you close
That was when I wanted to see
So much more than just love in your eyes
A dream for things supposed to be

But the only things in these eyes now
Is an over-spilling pot
Before, spilling with love
Now of realities that were not

I turn my face away
Scared that you will see right inside me
Like you always did before
See something I try hard to bury
Coz it’s not as easy as I make it seem
Not as pleasant as my lied laugh
Not as happy as my jolly face
The sting never seems enough
It clutches my heart
Wrings it dry
Sort of trying to free me
Of all the times gone-by…
Times I spent next to you
Times I spent talking
Times I spent listening
Times I spent walking
Wishing every moment then
That I could walk right into your arms
Wishing even now
That it wouldn’t so much as even harm

But of wishes I have an endless list
Of dreams an eternal slumber
Of memories a whole corner
That I try hard now not to remember

But how can I help
When you relive our moments
Now with someone else
A world filled with enchantments
Alas! It’s only now I realize
That world was never ours
It was a fleeting blessing
Of joys a mirage
Why then, I pray,
Was I shown a door of chances?
Days of ringing laughters?
Evenings of close dances?

My ears still ache
To hear something they’ve wanted for eternity
They forget now
Its someone else’s right on that beauty
Instead all they hear
Are consolations hearty and tall
“It’s better to have loved and lost”
…But what if you never loved at all?