The Slacker’s Oath Poem by Justin Reamer

On my honour,
On my dignity,
And on my family’s name,
I promise to relax all the time,
And to always take it easy.
I will never worry about my chores
Or about my daily responsibilities.
I will keep my room messy,
And my hygiene will always be horrible.
I will never take out my trash
Or ever make my bed.
I will never do my homework
Or study for that big test tomorrow
Because I have other things to do in my life
That I can enjoy right here and right now.
I will maintain my relationships only
When they benefit me,
But if my girlfriend wants to argue,
Then it isn’t worth having.
I will enjoy myself always in my marriage,
And I will never worry about the well-being of others.
I am a joke to all who know me,
But I don’t really care because
My video games are my life,
And gamers are my friends,
And we stay up late,
Sleep in,
Come in late to class,
And fall asleep while the teacher is talking
About incredibly boring subjects.
I am a slacker, and I am who I am,
And it’s not a bad thing,
And I will never change,
Because I promise to be the man I am.