Things You Won'T Find Or See! Poem by Greg Costello

Of rare things on a scale from one to ten,
What ranks the highest is the toothed hen.
But outside of this one anomaly,
A host of things you just won't find or see(have found or seen)

Proof that Everest first saw Mallory
A Traveller who's challenged follically
A vegetarian cannibal's most rare
Ronaldo with a single misplaced hair
An odour free and pleasant smelling skunk
A slur free Shane MacGowan who isn't drunk
A German who has ever once been late
A Cockney greet you without saying mate
A panda without fondness for bamboo
A pigeon that can squawk instead of coo
The face beneath the helmet of the Stig
Above your head an aviating pig
A papal image hanging in Ibrox
A reveller at Woodstock wearing socks
A zebra born with spots bereft of stripes
A mess that can't be cleaned by baby wipes
Pictures of Gandhi wearing boxing gloves
Sad Henry the Eighth mourning his past loves
One Salman Rushdie governing Iran
A cow-pie left untouched by Desperate Dan
A Sumo squeezing into skinny jeans
Beatles' footage without the screaming teens
A Southerner who can't abide NASCAR
Or Hendrix miss a note on his guitar
A Kenyan athlete lacking stamina
A footballing mistake by Paul McGrath
A polar bear that's fearful of the cold
An origami champ who cannot fold
A cuckoo for the first time build a nest
A minger on the arm of Georgie Best.

And finally the last thing you won't see
The completion of this poem in perfect, poetic symmetry.