This Inner Thing Poem by Alex Cairnie

Can I ever be free, from this inner thing
It does curse me, and haunt me, if I dance or I sing
It won't let me be happy, or settled or free
And it throws a black veil, over all that I see.

My passage in life, has been driven by pride,
On the flip of a coin, I'm both Jekyll and Hyde
I cannot explain it, a burning desire
Forged by the devil, in hell's raging fire

My temper I know, is a curse and a stain
All of my life, causing nothing but pain,
It feels like a cyclone, building inside,
With a million tornadoes, along for the ride

It has cast a great shadow, over all that I am,
It has made me the wolf, I cannot be the lamb.
I cannot control it, or put out its flame,
It is buried inside me, born in my name.

It is a thousand years older, than water or man,
And has driven their engines, from when time began.
It cannot be cured by wisdom or prayer,
Like a serpent of old in its mystical lair.

It exists in all men, to whom loss is their fear,
The spiritual fuel, of all they hold dear.
You cannot exchange it for a lesser design,
It will run through your veins, till the ending of time.

It is painful and raw, and leaves hurt in its wake,
And is sometimes too much, for those around us to take
You can blame it for all, more or less, if u like
But it feels no compassion, and won't hide out of sight.

It will rise like a dragon, a volcano of rage
And explode out of nowhere, like a beast from its cage.
It will crush and devour, all it meets in its way,
And be gone just as fast, but inside it will stay.

Its gene is eternal, and its appetite raw
It is known as a failure, and labelled a flaw.
But for some it's an engine, born from desire
That lifts souls from the sea, to the mountains, and higher.

If it leads me too darkness, or saves me with light
I'll embrace it, and beat it, I won't hide out of sight.
It cannot be broken, nor it's appetite quelled,
It will last till the heavens are conquered by hell.

If this my affliction, and destroyer of me,
I'll take it and smile, I am all that you see.
I will not say sorry, for my nature is me,
I am true to my makeup, I am all I can be.

It is here in my fibres, my spirit and soul
It is there in the mirror, like an endless black hole
It is this inner thing, that wraps conflict on thee
Knowing only the monster, that consumes all of me

MWP

AC