Tired! Poem by James Hart

Tired!



TIRED

O God, hear me.

I’m tired. So tired.

Tired now. In middle age.

Seen so much, said so much,
Done so much, run so much.

Tired like autumn leaves on the trees in the Bury
Hanging on with that mellow look of tired experience.

Tired. Soon retired?
Cansado. Recansado.

Tired. MS tired.
Tired through MS. Tired with MS.

Tired. MS tired.
It’s different.
Sleepy tired but with an emptied out feeling inside.
Tired deep down, deep down inside.

Like the well is still working
But the walls are crumbling.
Like the car is still running
But the bodywork’s rotting.

And I can’t put it right.
My medicines only take the pain away.

“Oh, you’re looking fine today, even walking better”.
If only they knew.
Knew what living with uncertainty was like;
Knew what living with hidden disabilities was like;
Knew that today I’m feeling better but tomorrow I’ll feel worse.
And that today I wear a smile but know I daren’t overdo it.
Know that the valley of depression
Which I must walk through
Is just round the corner
And nobody can walk that with me
Because unless you have it you can’t know it.

O Lord, hear me.

©2009
James Hart

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James Hart

James Hart

Grappenhall, Cheshire
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