To Give Life, To Take A Life. Poem by Araek Maharba

I have had a strange life growing up, where I did lose my younger sister. She wasn't stillborn she in fact lived 15 minutes. Until her heart stopped and the doctors couldn't do much to save her with everyting they did. But during the years after I would always be thinking of carrying a child of my own. That being said; I did only experience a lot of miscarries. Would always envy women that can carry a child for 9 months and manage to give birth to a healthy baby. There were times in my life where I did think that if I did grow a fetus in me my life would be over. Those thoughts of abortion would occur if I did manage to grow past 3 weeks or a month; were in my conscience. When life did throw me in the gutter and I had nothing...so this poem is just self-reflection for me. Self-critisim if I were carry on with pregnancy, would I ever consider abortion if I were living in the gutters and can't take care of myself or my baby. Having only miscarriages I have thought about it a few times. Only when live wasn't stable and I could not live healthy or warm so neither my child or me would be happy living.