Tropical Delights Poem by William Webb

Oh no! My God! Is that a bug?
A lizard scoots across the rug
And panicked snowbirds get the spray
Or call the bug-man up and say
I need you here! Right now! Today!

Let’s face it, Florida’s in the Topics.
And, since we’re talking climate topics,
Great for snakes and frogs as well,
And ants whose bites will make you swell,
With weather patterns straight from Hell.

These go with warmth, and sun, and rain
And all the reasons that you came
To join us in the Land of Flowers
And while away your Senior hours
Whining about our Summer showers.

So why pay for this pestilence?
Cash for misery makes no sense,
And (if I may close with a groaner)
I’m sure that there’s a sub-prime loaner
Who’ll help you move to Arizoner.