Understanding By Grace Poem by Rachel Aurelien

Lord
I totally understand why my prayers deceive,
the spirit I call a breath of your intelligence,
a breath of your voice, a breath of your truth, a breath of you.

I tell you here and I show you now,
I didn't want to believe it but,
I'm not the original author of my mind,
for it has been controlled over a life time.

My soul has been withered to conformity and weakness,
I didn't even want to sleep with my fears until;
I opened my ears to my fearful peers.

I didn't know I did any wrong until,
I was foreign to my spirits woven song.
You didn't tell me I was a slave to the misguided truth until my visions were the cause of my actions.
The same actions that were pro-founded by the heavens and laughed at by the non-believers.

Believe in my truth for I am guilty of myself which, is arrogantly blind
The pulse in my heart is a division of my inquisitive not yet spoken mind
What I choose is a recording of my undecided past, a mistake I happily made.
A misleading of my past, which I can't find.
Flickering in the distance is a slow winding vision my heart cannot bind.

Oh lord, myself, my image, my un-loyalties are my deformities that changed my spirit to my alter soul.
I raised my hand from the soil of the congregation where other future testimonies lived unlived.
I lived like unguided leaders un-winged by my own faults and my un-cunning decisions.

Stranded by the love trailed within, slowly escaping like unremembered letters of revisions.
I decided at a weaker stage that my wills can be defaulted when my longings are depressed.