Weaker Than I Appear Poem by Paige Noble

i want to be beautiful. I need to look good for once in my life
the ache in my heart is as sharp as a knife
this knife is sharp and always at the corner of my brain
all of the time i am in pain
im ugly im fat im never going to win
not unless i feed this crave to be thin
this craving is nagging, it tells me to never eat
while i look like this ill never be complete
it tells me to never eat again, to make myself starved
on my heart fat and ugly will always be carved
i hate myself, i just need some avail
but in my heart i know that ill fail
people look at me and say that im pretty
but ill always know its just out of pity
they tell me im beautiful - theres no need to diet
but inside my brain this starts off a riot
i need to be pretty. I need to look good
but to be honest i would stop if i could.
im on my last life, theres nowhere to go from here

To you, i'm strong. But i'm weaker than i appear...