What About My Secrets? Poem by Katy Lue

Is this how it feels?
This lonleiness that's drowned in desperation?
This knot that tightens with each gulp of air?
Is this how it ends?
Do I grow to weak and too deserted to speak?
Do I grow so far away I won't care?
I won't care where I am going,
or who might follow,
I won't care about yesterday or today or tomorrow?
I won't care if I wake,
or if the sun explodes,
It will take ten minutes to see the devastation anyway,
will I be a friend of deep woe?
Will I shrink to nothing,
or make it to something,
is something all I deserve?
No name,
just something,
someone,
sometime,
somewhere,
What about my secrets?
Will they fall with me?
Will they fall and then fly to the land unreachable?
If they follow me down I will not jump,
I will not attempt,
I will not try,
If they fly away never to be seen or heard or sensed again I will fall,
attempt,
try,
try to see the world on my tiptoes,
to use a voice that whispers at most,
to see with eyes that only watch,
to loose all there is to loose,
While I can I will try,
so desperatley try,
to give my secrets away forever,
untill time does me in,
I will try to live with them,
the burden so hard to bare,
the hole I live in so deep,
too deep,
to breathe,
but I will try,
only because I know that one day I will not wake to them clinging to my soul,
I will try only because I know that
one day I will be free.