What Did I Poem by joses tirtabudi

Did I not try hard enough?
Or should I have quit?
Didn't I have enough love?
Didn't I your expectations meet?

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Should I have spent more or less?
Should I have given more out?
Did I not give out my best?
Did I not hold on in the seas of doubt?

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Did I not stand on my conviction?
Did I not try to meet you halfway?
Instead I feel I was served eviction
On a cold, miserable day.

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What was so abhorrent
That we're nothing but friends?
I don't play pointless feints.
I can't see any point in this then

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You knew the how and why
I don't think it was ever a mystery
But I'm hung up here to dry
At times I wonder why I try.

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I have never held on so long
Neither dived so deep.
Yet it's like everything's gone wrong.
What'd I miss?

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Couldn't you feel it too?
That invisibile current -
Electric sparks that flew?
Or was it lost in cold judgement?

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Was I the only one who had on a mask?
Was giving some love back
Far too much to ask?
Now I'm caught between myths and facts.

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Was I not moldable? What'd I miss?
Didn't you feel for me?
Put out my misery! Tell me please!
You have the key that'll set me free.

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I don't know if I should call this
A rotten waste of time
Because at times it was bliss
But then I hit a landmine

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So tell me, what did I wrong?
How did I mess up?
I've been waiting so long.
And I think my time is up.

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Let me get this off my chest
It's been here for so long
And this seems such a mess
What did I wrong?

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From this churning
Dark whirlwind inside -
Where ruined dreams are burning
Hear me cry -