When I'M With You Poem by Lauren Beasley

When I'm with you, I feel amazing
On top of the world - above the clouds
And every other cliche you can think of

The stresses of life don't matter
All I can think of is here and now
Everything I worried about -
All the stupid things I over analyzed -
They melt away when I see your face

When I'm with you, I feel amazing
It's when I'm alone that things go downhill
I begin to think - a dangerous thing to do
Because when one starts to think, they very seldom are able to stop it

My mind in its lonesome is my worst enemy
The part of me that craves interaction grows anxious and needy
I reach out, hoping to fill my desires
Only, in rejection, I end up feeling much worse

When I'm with you, I feel amazing
When I am with myself, I am filled with remorse
Constantly feeling bad for my own needs
Needs that you can't willingly fulfill

I know if I do nothing, I will feel alone
Contemplation
Do I ask?
If the answer is yes, I shall be satisfied in elation
If the answer is no...

The answer is always no
Every time I contemplate asking, I know the answer will be no
Yet, I hold onto the hope that perhaps, this time, it will be yes

Alas it is always no
And so I leave feeling worse than I began
My loneliness is doubled by rejection
I feel bad for my neediness
I feel bad for making you turn me away, because I know you can't say yes
You have your own needs too

Why do I ask when I know I shall feel worse after asking

When I'm with you, I feel amazing
Just your presence, without a spoken word, calms me
A look
A glance
Enough to satisfy me

I hate that I crave more than you can give me
I hate that I pressure you and cause you to feel bad, knowing you cannot give me what I want
I hate that this isn't as organic as it should be

But then again, when I'm with you, I feel amazing
When I'm with you, everything comes naturally
Real, open, blunt, and beautiful

It's when I'm alone that I forget how amazing I feel when I'm with you
When I'm with you, I don't think about stupid things
All that's on my mind is how I feel
And I want to feel that way all the time

When I'm with you, I feel amazing
That's why I hate not being with you
That's why my mind goes crazy when we're apart
But I know what you need
And I'm sorry I ruin the amazing feeling with my badgering

Affectionate
What I've been called
Affection
What I desire to give
What I desire to receive
What you've given me
The feeling I wish to keep even when you're not with me

When I'm with you, I feel amazing
And that's all that really matters