Who Am I? Poem by Naomi Harris

Inside my mind going back and forth
Every single night I ask the lord
Will he take all these grey clouds away
Cuz when it rains
I can't stand the storm
Trauma is a pain that I can't ignore
No drive for days
I'm a crashing course
I'm tryna fight off my depression
I don't know how long I had it for
But I had it long enough to know that
It is a part of me
They say get over it
As if it isn't hard for me
I wish there was more of me
I wish there were people who noticed me
I want people to stop ignoring me
I feel like I don't even know me
I wish someone could show me
Acting like I am explosive
A gun that is loaded
But I'm really a kid who is frozen
In a loop of time
I wish I could find
More of me
Who do I even want to be?
Do I want to be free?
Do I want control?
I would rather stay cold.
Maybe I like being alone
Maybe I don't want a home
Sometimes I want to explode
All these assumptions
I wish you saw me for something
I have value, right?
I have this list of questions I ask at night
Am I even worth the fight?
Is this that thing called life?
Will I ever be a wife?
Do I want children?
Ok, it is time to stop imagining
I know I can't think this way
Can't wish for another wonderful day
I don't want to hope
Maybe I could… nope
Its time to stop because I know it is impossible
But aren't I unstoppable?
No, I am stoppable