Elizabeth Haasch

Why

Why I sit here in the dark.
Why I do the things I do.
Why is a question that keeps running through my head.
The tears flowing free like a stream of welled up thoughts of us.
You.
Her.
The stars have never seemed so far away.
I’m looking for a way to realize now.
I don’t even recognize this girl I look at.
It’s not me. And that makes me scared.
I’m broken and you are the one that has chipped the edges,
scratched the glass.
I don’t like the madness
the crying, the screaming of death to come.
I’m scared and I don’t know why.
Why the ring won’t go on easily for you.
Why.
It’s such a beautiful question that you are unable to answer.
Lying, cheating.
Why.
You said it’s because you didn’t want to lose me,
but that exactly what happened.
Things haven’t been the same and we both know it.
Screaming, fighting, breathing isn’t easy for me.
So as I’m looking at the writings
from the beginning it makes me wonder.
This started when I saw the burn marks and it made me wonder.
Again why?
Why can’t you take the consequences for your actions.
The pain of losing a part of me, us
that will never come back the same.
So now I’m running out of words
to write, speak, sing, and say to you.
You have this sort of hold on me
and I’m scared.
Why
I can’t defend myself
can’t get my thoughts out.
Can’t.
So again I ask why?
Why…

Poem Submitted: Thursday, April 21, 2011
Poem Edited: Sunday, May 22, 2011

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