Why? Poem by Nissi Lunga

Why are you so defensive?
I was told I lied when I was telling
half the truth, I never got to complete.
Why are you upset?
Upset...with myself because I failed her,
what will I tell her and she is me.
Why are afraid?
Because guts lead to dreams and my
heart can't take anymore disappointments.
Why are you struggling?
I'm trying and won in my head,
the fight was not mine.
Why can't you make friends?
They are humans who can't be the
same, I bled red they believe
theirs is gold.
Why can't you just let it go?
I push it away, it pulls me along and
rings at the back of my memory
like a lingering bell.
Why can't you take a joke?
Jokes made me live a reality others
made fun of, while I believed it would stay
till the last laugh made me cry.
The next time you ask me why.
Be in my shoes for a while...oh wait,
I hate those...don't ask me why!