Wish.. Poem by Ella Goodman

I sit by my window wishing you were here,
Often and so I wish I was too dear,
My words— they fail, my tears— they too,
To say what I feel and how much I miss you.

Oh! how can I forget that you dropped by to say—
"Think not of me, or wait for my way,
It's just an infatuation, mere lust and no love,
There's no story in the make, no future as such."

I do not know why my heart races at the very thought of you.
Near or far, the infrequent talks when I have with you—
It feels all so true, a strange sense of peace,
An uncanny synchronisation of rhythms of my heartbeats.
Yet perhaps you're right—it's all but an infatuation,
A mirage of my hallucination.
But alas! They wither not, nor do they die.
I wonder till when these feelings in me will lie.

How am I to shut all feelings as proclaimed my lust?
I wonder when all memories will gather its dust.
I sit here just in silence—silent for long,
My senses awake, still everything goes numb.
My heart is too heavy to lament or grudge,
The mere thought of you, when in my heart, surge.

I stare at the sky, the trees— there out, who stand,
I crave for a soul to hear my whispers,
Comfort my heart and say, "You're not alone."
Oh, how I wish you were here to me atone—
Drape me in your arms, kiss away my fears,
All my feelings of annihilation and jeers.
To kindle the spark and glow the surround,
Rebound my soul, bring me around.

So often I think—think only about you,
Even though I may not want to let my mind bend to you.
Dreams —they are cruel; visions of you they bring,
Everything is gone when reality springs.
I do not know—who do I blame?
My stars, or myself to indulge in your flame?
I know it's all but my foolish supposition,
Nothing I envisage will culminate in truesome.

Hours— they pass, misting my eyes.
In cold numbness, I sit transfixed to sigh.
Visions are clear, mind— fair, it all speaks.
Still, why do I then fabricate what is not to be?
Wishful thinking— my constant companion,
Silence and dark— my true salvation! !