You Didn't Seem To Notice (Condensed) Poem by Siobhan Niven

You didn't seem to notice, when I dyed my hair,
got new clothes to wear, the effort that I made,
my spirit starts to fade.

You didn't seem to notice, the words that went unsaid,
books I bought, but never read; I was falling apart,
I had a broken heart.

You didn't seem to notice, when I stopped going out,
whispered words turned to a shout,2am tears,
my life again plagued with fears.

You didn't seem to notice, the photographs I took,
the sadness in my look, the beauty in my art,
when I fell apart.

You didn't seem to notice, the unravelling of the thread,
demons in my head, when I got really ill,
I took another pill.

You didn't seem to notice, the calls I never made,
words that I said, I tried and tried again,
my hurt and pain.

You didn't seem to notice, when I turned the other cheek,
when I didn't speak, as I lay in my bed,
I wanted to be dead.

You didn't seem to notice, me rejecting the call,
rising above it all, that I'd never walk away,
silently I'd pray.

You didn't seem to notice, for us, I wanted a better life,
me trying to be a better mother and wife.

You don't seem to notice, that I struggle every day,
that I do it anyway, that I am still here,
an achievement every year.

You don't seem to notice, even when better, I'm not,
the help I need but haven't got, thoughts becoming fraught.

You don't seem to notice, how hard it is to live,
that's the gift that I give, fighting hard each day,
just to stay this way.

You don't seem to notice, the effort that I give,
that I want to live, the plans that I've made,
I'm trying to step out from the shade.

You won't seem to notice, when I reach my goal,
the next time I'm 'in a dark hole'.

You won't seem to notice, when I think you should.

But I know you'll finally notice, when everything is good.