Nicola Bowes

Rookie (28 August 1992 / Port Elizabeth, South Africa)

Your Anger, Your Comfort - Poem by Nicola Bowes

Your anger your comfort
My pain my thresh hold
Is broken by your silence
Can't stand to be without you
I don't wanna grant your wish anymore
I'm not strong enough to be selfless
Not strong enough to give up my crutch
I'm weak; I'm selfish I'm staying this way
Yes I should have died that day
The day you first closed the door
It would be easier than crying all the more

I dunno what I expected but it certainly wasn't this
This ending is so wrong; I won't even touch your lips
I'd send myself to hell if that was your new wish
Perhaps it would be easier perhaps because I'm dead
At least I won't walk around with thoughts inside my head
Thoughts of how I've hurt you and thoughts of what you've said
That have kept me isolated in a crazed coffin of my mind
Do you really care what you've lost; what we've left behind?

Mr Crowley is still talking to the dead but I'm the living demon
The one that possesses all your beds
Did you think that you could run from me?
This monster that I've become will follow to the ends of the earth
And make you regret what you have done
You've overreacted; you think the world is your stage
Well trust me for you to see not a seat will pay
Because you never think and tis a great shame
The reason for your soon regret is placing all the blame
On me for your wrong doings I hate the putrid stain
I'm tired of your apologies; I, sincere little whore,
Accept them for the sake of peace but they mean nothing more

Your excuse for all is the traumatic past you've had
You're weaved into a tapestry of memories that
Are useless for your reasoning and inexcusable in tact
I bet you have no incestuous past behind an outside flat
And a reputation that nobody forgets
No but we do share the simple like adultery and divorce
I walk down the street and every face as I pass
Whisper the same tales of violent delights to the other in hand

So Mr Crowley will you remove the blame?
Will you listen to others' words of pain and realise you're sane?
It's time to break down that wall; build up your senses
Remember that love is empty of false pretences
And it follows you wherever you go
And remains loyal no matter what you say or do
It is infinite and unconditional
It is eternal and it is redeeming
And Mr Crowley it will never leave you

So go out and give all of yourself; never hold anything back
Live forever in your lifetime but never in a single moment
Don't fight against your heart but embrace its wishes
Seek your truth and speak your mind
And Mr Crowley allow your memories to live through you but never live through your memories again
Copyright Nicola Bowes 2009

Comments about Your Anger, Your Comfort by Nicola Bowes

  • Ramesh Rai (4/8/2012 4:49:00 AM)

    if it is ur first poem, it is too long. nice endeavour. keep writing. (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, April 8, 2012

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