Raymond Carter

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The Best Poem Of Raymond Carter

Crazy

Tell me,
Am I crazy?
You probably don't think so,
Since I don't want to flush myself down the toilet
Every time I get out of bed
Or spontaneously murder everyone I love,
But get this:
I put chocolate syrup on chocolate ice cream.
Pretty crazy, right?
I mean, yeah, it's a little mundane,
But come on, who does that?
Or maybe this will change your mind:
I still haven't seen Star Wars.
Oh you haven't either.
Okay, my bad.
No, I'm not saying you're crazy,
I'm just…
Look.
Just tell me straight.
Am I crazy?
I mean,
Am I crazy enough to be an artist?
It's not a dumb question.
It's a perfectly reasonable question.
And not just any artist either,
I'm talking about an artiste,
Beyond my time,
Sketching poems with paint
And leaving the perfect stain on a blank white canvas.
Capturing all of eternity with the stroke of a brush
And luring hordes of tourists to the Louvre.
Excuse me?
"Do I draw? "
Did you just ask me if I draw?
No, I do not draw. I make art.
There's a difference.
It's not even a subtle difference.
It's the difference between black construction paper and Starry Night,
It's the difference between your sixth grade teacher and Pablo frickin Picasso.
Anyone can draw.
It takes a truly crazy person to be an artist.
So do you think I have it in me?
And before you answer, keep in mind
That I have a pet spider.
I shoplifted a candy bar once by accident
And I didn't return it.
I wear my shoes on the carpet.
Bagpipes don't make me want to vomit.
I don't wear my seatbelt
Except on rollercoasters and airplanes when they check.
I butter my toast with a fork.
I know how stocks work.
I have never made a full stop at a T-intersection.
And one more thing,
You should know that there is a right answer.
So please, for the love of God,
Give me the benefit of the doubt.
Tell me I'm crazy,
Even if you think I'm not.
Tell me my work reflects my pain
Like those of all the painters
Who went through Hell
And landed in Heaven
Before someone realized they had what it took.
Tell me this,
Because maybe if you say it out loud,
I'll believe it enough to make it someday.
Maybe if you say it out loud,
I'll can convince myself
That I don't see the world
Like everyone else.
That I don't experience life
Like everyone else.
That I don't just exist
Like everyone else.
That I don't run myself in circles from birth until death
Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting
To matter.
Like everyone else.
You can see it now, can't you?
I just want to succeed.
I just want to do what I love.
So tell me,
Am I crazy?

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