T'was a boastful warrior's roar,
From Ireland's coast to Scotland's shore;
In Antrim you'll ney longer plunder,
Vowed Finn McCool to Benandonner.
...
Its keel was laid in twenty-five,
It launched in twenty-eight;
Among those christening its bow,
Who could have guessed its fate,
...
Pray listen while I share with you,
A case that once betide a Jew,
And teaches all to wary be,
Of answering too hastily,
...
DAY ONE
I'm almost a whole day old now,
I arrived just yesterday,
If there were any 'days before, '
...
'My life is miserable, '
Sighed a daughter to her dad;
'Each problem that gets solved,
Brings another just as bad! '
...
I started with one sister,
Marriages brought two more;
Each one a pure delight,
Both easy to adore.
...
Taws a week before Christmas,
When in front of our house,
There appeared a flat box,
Sent to me and my spouse.
...
It was in Myra, Asia Minor,
That St. Nicolas made his home;
He was the Bishop there,
A thousand miles from Rome.
...
It was Christmas twenty-fifty and Santa sighed in deep dismay,
The climate had changed twice since his first Noel Day.
He'd survived rising temperatures throughout 'Medieval Times, '
And the cold of the 'Little Ice Age' of 18th Century climes.
...
Each culture has a tale to tell,
Of how all came to be;
Of who created Earth and sky,
And air and land and sea;
...
The Ghost of Christmas-Yet-To-Come
Stood by my bed last night,
His face so menacing and glum,
I recoiled at the sight.
...
Joseph Has A Dream
An Angel came to Joseph in his dreams:
Arise, take flight, ‘fore Herod finds the child!
Slaughtered innocents, mothers' anguished screams,
...
Jabez Stone was as unlucky as a man could be;
His corn grew no higher than his boney knee;
His potatoes no bigger than a single snap pea;
And his horse had foundered and barely could see.
...
She wore a dress with Belgian lace,
And he a morning suit.
Exchanging vows of life-long love,
While gathered friends stood mute.
...
It was "sochelnik, " Christmas Eve,
In the tiny Russian town;
Excited children laughed and squealed:
Grandfather Frost will soon be ‘round.
...
Giant's Causeway
T'was a boastful warrior's roar,
From Ireland's coast to Scotland's shore;
In Antrim you'll ney longer plunder,
Vowed Finn McCool to Benandonner.
With that McCool piled stone on stone,
And made a causeway of his own;
The Sea of Moyle, forty fathoms deep,
He now could cross by jump and leap.
But Finn could not believe his eyes,
When first he saw Benandonner's size;
Wide as a barn, six meters tall,
He'd best McCool in any brawl.
Finn was quick to regret his boast,
And turned his back to Scotland's coast;
But Benandonner McCool had spied,
And chased him now with ten-foot stride.
Finn just barely made his house,
And yelled for Ooneh, his clever spouse;
I bit off more than I can chew,
Where can I hide, what can I do?
Ooneh then threw him in a bed,
And covered him from toe to head;
Trust me Finn, don't make a sound,
I'll deal with Benandonner if he comes round.
She had not very long to wait,
Benandonner easily jumped their gate,
And pounded on Ooneh's cottage door,
"With Finn McCool, I'll mop your floor! "
Be calm my friend, McCool's not here,
He's gone to Kerry to hunt for deer,
But he'll be back fore day is out;
Come in and tell me - what's this about?
Benandonner came in and looked around,
Curious about the things he found:
What tree sized pole is lying here?
Said Ooneh, that's just my husband's spear.
And that block of oak, wide as a wheel,
And longer than a sailboat's keel?
Oh that, it's just the fighting shield,
Finn uses on the battlefield.
Your garden has boulders scattered round,
Each one must weigh a thousand pounds.
Oh, Finn tosses those for hours on end,
Just playing catch with his best friend.
It looks like Finn is running late,
Will you try a biscuit while you wait?
The biscuit's crust hid iron beneath,
On his first bite he broke three teeth.
Who is that lying in that bed,
That looks eight feet from toe to head?
Why that's only Finn's and my new bairn,
In baby clothes all McCools have worn.
One peek below the blanket's fold,
And the giant's blood ran icy cold;
The Giant was quick to understand,
If this be the babe, how big the man!
Benandonner then rethought his plight,
No longer sure he'd win the fight;
Said he, the tide's now running low,
To make the crossing, I'll have to go.
With that he bolted through the door;
Ran like lightning to reach the shore;
Dashed across the stones once more;
And swore he'd be back nevermore!
McCool then leapt up from his bed,
And followed the Giant while he fled;
But when he reached the Antrim coast,
He dared not repeat his foolish boast.
Instead, he gathered each stone he'd thrown,
And stacked them in columns, why is not known,
But remnants remain to this very day,
Known to all as the Giant's Causeway!