Raindrops lace my face' reflection
puddles rippling mists on glass our train
rattling passed the 1960s office building
where my father principally pushes paper
...
Stripping back the morning clouds
to slide into my coffee cup of existential thought
the wish for a bluer sky to colour my horizons deepens
when in declaration of the grey
...
the seagulls fly
through cracks in
torn-down windows. invisible
screeches catching on glass. their avian
...
the water-colours pool in tones of melancholy
pigments tainted for a year. from when
alone with you two minutes seemed a lifetime.
now. nothing. but a lifetime to remember. always.
...
beyond the edge of summer an un-furrowed field sits inside of moonlight. waiting. for worn out feet to come and fill her earth with shame.
does she remember?
does she recognise just how they stain her soil with wounds?
...
Collecting stones
the shimmer of water reflects acceptance
with an untouchable flourish of tenderness
never quite understanding its importance
...
Sirens wail of a new tomorrow
as the city slides to a sleep -
the Amen weep for the fallen
flailing the sterile streets.
...
Red Admirals flutter the glass of our prison windows
brief lives fading in frustration
the grasp of the clock's hands
too eager with insistence.
...
on that day
I stood with my black back towards the sun
my shadow cast across a myriad of smiling flowers
all drinking down their sorrow to my mother
...
From out of the mouth of a graze
births a granulated tissue head —
a hypertrophic alien,
mutant and muling,
...
The sound of bristle on canvas -
retreating surf skating the shingle -
the occasional tapping of a palette knife
churning the paint.
...
Steel pillars plunge unwavering
despite the trains rumbling their rail tracks -
the constant daily progression -
as Westminster peers
...
Possibility sipped from the cup of opportunity
brimming with ritual and subliminal desire -
infused with violins and mandolins
the green tea poured — devoured.
...
Somewhere unknown a nameless woman grieves.
Some place alone.
A faceless mourner.
...
The trains scream the rail tracks
each crack of electric a reminder
of your lone wolf's silence
Death gnaws the bones of pain
...
the gentle pull of Saturn kicks upon invisible strings
inexorably tethered to my spirit and as a captive
I surrender to the judgement of its wisdom the darkness
a tidal moment to reflect upon
...
deathly silence
solitude a lonely road to travel
when faced with nothing but oneself
and the days stretch with an elasticated ease
...
A Journey
Raindrops lace my face' reflection
puddles rippling mists on glass our train
rattling passed the 1960s office building
where my father principally pushes paper
sifting the daily tedium
and local government reports
And so I watch the condensation run in rivulets
the wooden guttering puttering the water
my four year old fingers dabbling in curiosity
whilst hating the buttons down my
peter-pan collared check-striped frock
My mother reads her Woman's Weekly
slender ankles neatly crossed beneath her
picture-perfect-french-grey-navy-woolsey-linen A-line skirt
And as the countryside grows into the city
London's lights invigorate her heart
We skip Marylebone's musty platforms-sinking into Bakerloo's underground - the housekeeping already charring the deep-red of her leatherette purse - then on - to seething Oxford Street - the people pavement-grey - black hats above austere faces-dark coats skimming worn-out souls - their sadness puddles deep enough to cloud my patent shoes
I lose my mother's grasp and climb
the red bus heaving deck-on-deck
unseen amongst the nylon'd legs of women
escaping town and country
But i have no fear whereas my mother - in her awakening
insists pursuit whilst i watch - apparently defiant
then after that
this page is blank
And yes she loved me my departed mother
even though i sometimes felt i was a cross she had to bare
arriving in her life too late and ashamedly a big mistake
and yet i never really 'knew' until some twenty-four years later
grief for my father buried deep beneath the ground
for that was when she deigned to hug me
after the longest ever bus ride in maternal history
Sally A Mortemore 2023