Fay Slimm

Rookie - 12 Points (Ageless. / in Cornwall U.K.)

A Watery Secret.

Watery messenger of past love-hates,
Rivering, subtley, each potentised remnant
Of thousands before. Stored, they are waiting,
Unseen, for us to catch sound of laments.
Or of happiness states. Minutely floating.

Deep-level listeners hear musical notes
Of lives long gone, their chromosome cries,
Though shaken, pressed down, liquidised, need
To be heard. Passing birds tilt an eye
As though aware. Furry travellers speed,
But halt to hear silent melody. Stoat,
Vole and Otter detect symphony. Why
Then can't we turn an ear, listen carefully
To rivers, streaming the smiles and past sighs
Of yester-year folk, - - and learn if we dare.

Submitted: Thursday, January 01, 2009
Edited: Thursday, January 01, 2009

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Comments about this poem (A Watery Secret. by Fay Slimm )

  • Rookie - 26 Points Fiona Davidson (1/15/2009 5:13:00 AM)

    Lovely message in this very strong write...enjoyed the read....thank you...Fi (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mark Nwagwu (1/15/2009 1:56:00 AM)

    I love the pace, the rhythm goes to my head and I tilt my ear to listen to the symphony that Stoat, Vole and Otter detect that I may bathe in that river streaming the smiles and sighs of years long since gone. I've got the time. Thank you, Fay, thank you for giving us a write truly worthy of our time.
    Mark 10+ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 124 Points James Timothy Jarrett (1/13/2009 6:26:00 AM)

    Great write Fay! your handling of syntax and rythym in this piece is awesome. A deep and lovely poem (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Herbert Nehrlich1 (1/11/2009 3:45:00 PM)

    I too, am a passing bird tilting an eye at what you write.
    This is, of course, an easy 19, and I like watery secrets of all kinds.

    Hxx (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Scott Austin (1/8/2009 1:35:00 AM)

    The reader can image this scene wonderfully, peaceful feelings can be felt in these words you have expressed…thank you.

    Scott (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Frank Cannon (1/6/2009 8:23:00 AM)

    Wondrous streams of thought flowing from your pen Fay. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 29 Points Robert Howard (1/5/2009 9:22:00 AM)

    This is a unique and fascinating perspective on love. If life is a flowing stream then we, with all our loving, swim together in that stream and join our singing with every other living creature. Beautifully written and very well titled. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 18 Points Naseer Ahmed Nasir (1/2/2009 4:15:00 PM)

    The river of time is full of secret watery sounds, if we dare to listen.......10/10. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 12 Points Fay Slimm (1/1/2009 12:02:00 PM)

    Thank you Rachel - - - - glad it appealed to you and that the lines mentioned resounded........ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Kris Smith (1/1/2009 11:28:00 AM)

    Yes we should learn and this poem deserves mor than I can give it Fay 10++++++ Chris (Report) Reply

Read all 10 comments »

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