Treasure Island

Noreen Carden

(16/12/50 / Mayo)

Heart of ice

Black day when ice formed round her heart.
Black day when they were forced to part.
Her anger made her rail at God.
What did she do that was so bad.

People think she is alive.
They don't suspect she's dead inside.
That she inhaled a breath so deep.
A deathlike state a waking sleep,
holds her fast she can't go forward
and the past is past.

Scalding tears wont break the ice.
So for now this must suffice.
Until his touch her breath releases
as it breaks the ice to pieces.
Only then will her heart pulse
and warm blood course within her veins
Her leprous soul feel joy or pain.
Breathing out she will live again.

Submitted: Tuesday, November 26, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

I wrote this after reading a true story told by a woman whose husband was in a coma she said she felt like she was also in a coma.Happily he recovered

Comments about this poem (Heart of ice by Noreen Carden )

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  • Bri Edwards (8/29/2014 9:30:00 PM)

    noreen, this time i read it without pause, and the only comment i'll make this time is it goes to MyPoemLIst. bri :) (Report) Reply

  • Daniel Brick (5/16/2014 9:12:00 AM)

    This is such a powerful and moving poem. Isn't ironic that a person's heartfelt, truly unselfish love for another is displayed in situations that are so traumatic they can scarcely appreciate the emotion that motivates them? That's when we must recall that good times and happy events also evoke true love. But in this poem the woman's love of her husband is so strong that she is grabbed by an emotional coma that parallels his physical coma. Your poem gives us incontrovertible proof of the scope and intensity of the bonds that are created by intimacy and tenderness. (Report) Reply

  • John Westlake (3/28/2014 6:51:00 AM)

    Very moving and well written. Though I may not understand it as I should, I still enjoyed reading it. I will have to re read and hopefully understand it better next time (Report) Reply

  • Marie Shine (3/4/2014 5:38:00 AM)

    You have narrated the story exquisitely, Noreen, in perfect rhythm and rhyme. Excellent use of metaphor, simile and alliteration. On reading, I thought it was a love story, so thank you for your kind note, which clarified the matter for me. Excellent word choice produces touching visual detail! A truly excellently crafted write, Noreen, which I thank you for sharing. I am so pleased there was a happy ending to the story for the lady and gentleman concerned, bless them both. Bless you also, Noreen, for penning this intriguing write. Wish you a very lovely day, blessed, peaceful and relaxed - enjoy! (Report) Reply

  • Ed Nigma (2/18/2014 7:46:00 PM)

    Ah, the poets notes bring a clarification to a very good poem. I've dealt with a few people in a coma and it is exactly as you said. Scalding tears wont break the ice so for now this must suffice. Spoken truths while waiting for someone to come back from a comatose state. There are certain things that can aid this because it does bring about some stimulation but it is what you said it doesn't matter how many tears fall it doesn't change anything while you wait. Nicely done Noreen =) (Report) Reply

  • Adeline Foster (2/3/2014 5:23:00 PM)

    Good job, you have told the story well. Reminds me a bit of mine - Cicatrix -
    I too did a double-take on the 'leprous' (Report) Reply

  • Clarence Prince (1/14/2014 9:46:00 AM)

    Words of faith, Noreen! Breathing out she will live again, of course, with God everything is possible! Blessings! ! (Report) Reply

  • Ed Nigma (1/13/2014 8:01:00 PM)

    I like imagery here. A deathlike state a waking sleep. Holds her fast she can't go forward and the past is past.

    Can only imagine what it means to be stuck in limbo. A paralysis in time aging with no choice but to be. Then to be freed by the love of another. Nice poem (Report) Reply

  • Amitava Sur (1/5/2014 4:12:00 PM)

    A lovely penning with a firm belief on the power of love.
    Until his touch her breath releases
    as it breaks the ice to pieces........ very nice (Report) Reply

  • Paddy D Daly (12/31/2013 2:24:00 PM)

    hi, read your poem 'heart of ice', its very sad but beautifully written, thank you for commenting on'yvonne' and
    my humble effort at a tribute to seamus h, kind regards and happy new year, paddy d (Report) Reply

  • Geetha Jayakumar (12/25/2013 9:58:00 AM)

    A Great write Noreen. Beautiful observation you have portrayed here, husband is in coma but she feel herself in coma. Her feelings are beautifully put up here. Loved reading it. (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (12/18/2013 5:50:00 PM)

    Noreen, i'll start with a complaint; i figure you are strong enough to take it. and we are fast friends, right? not fast THATWAY! in this line:
    Her leprous soul feel joy or pain.
    i don't understand its purpose here. i think the poem would do well without it and there would be no need to replace it. anyway, pain doesn't make a great rhyme with again (at least not in my mind) . granted there are several non-rhyming coupled lines, but i like all of THEM.

    on a brighter note:

    Until his touch her breath releases
    as it breaks the ice to pieces....................i LOVE this for the meaning and for the rhyming.

    thanks for sharing. :) bri i looked at this poem because, seeing the title, i thought it would be about ME! darn. (Report) Reply

  • Unwritten Soul (12/13/2013 7:15:00 AM)

    I understand it very well, because emotion and life is like and cold cant be separated if they are...they are gone..gone forever...because warm can live in ice, and no fire is cold_Soul (Report) Reply

  • Mike Barrett (12/10/2013 3:02:00 PM)

    Interesting observation......not sure my heart would react in a similar way in a similar circumstance, I'm not only a believer in 'the Self (Soul) ' but also the divine and from my point of view there's hardly any difference between the two; hence, if the beloved is in a coma, this is a reflection of divine will, and that being the case, would my heart turn to ice? I think not for time after time, ITS love continuously warms me. (Report) Reply

  • Dinesh Nair (12/9/2013 10:44:00 PM)

    That is the bond of true love that sans physical concerns... A love tale told for us with a note indeed. (Report) Reply

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