...I cut my sun in half and color the top half blue and he bottom half green. And I hold my drawing in the air saying 'Ms. M Im done! ' She takes one look at my drawing and smiles but then points to my sun. 'Alyssa, what's your favorite color? ' I laugh and tell her that I don't have a favorite color. She chuckles then puts a gold star on my paper and says I tried… I tried. I tried? Other kids had gotten golden stars because their art was beautiful, and I got one because I tried? I slumped down in my seat, grabbed the blue crayon and drew over the green part of my sun. I bring my drawing back to my teacher and ask her if its better. If now it's beautiful. She smiles again and says 'Of course I think it's beautiful.'
Teachers in the sixth grade are obsessed with asking their students what they want to do when they grow up. Whenever I hear the question I get a nervous tug on my heart because although I love writing, I like to act. I love the idea of being able to play and pretend to be someone I'm not. I can't choose what I want to be when I grow up and I know from experience that it's not a good thing to like two different things. So when my sixth grade teacher asks me what I want to be when I grow up I mumble out an answer. I mumble that I want to be a writer and an actress. He just smiles and says 'You have to pick just one.'
...
Blue And Green
...I cut my sun in half and color the top half blue and he bottom half green. And I hold my drawing in the air saying 'Ms. M Im done! ' She takes one look at my drawing and smiles but then points to my sun. 'Alyssa, what's your favorite color? ' I laugh and tell her that I don't have a favorite color. She chuckles then puts a gold star on my paper and says I tried… I tried. I tried? Other kids had gotten golden stars because their art was beautiful, and I got one because I tried? I slumped down in my seat, grabbed the blue crayon and drew over the green part of my sun. I bring my drawing back to my teacher and ask her if its better. If now it's beautiful. She smiles again and says 'Of course I think it's beautiful.'
Teachers in the sixth grade are obsessed with asking their students what they want to do when they grow up. Whenever I hear the question I get a nervous tug on my heart because although I love writing, I like to act. I love the idea of being able to play and pretend to be someone I'm not. I can't choose what I want to be when I grow up and I know from experience that it's not a good thing to like two different things. So when my sixth grade teacher asks me what I want to be when I grow up I mumble out an answer. I mumble that I want to be a writer and an actress. He just smiles and says 'You have to pick just one.'
The realization that I liked girls as well as boys hit me like a freight train because my whole like I had been programmed to think that liking two things instead of one was the worst thing that I could do. But my favorite colors have always been blue and green. So what am I supposed to do about that?