Anonymous Wonderer

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What If

What if

I've had a boyfriend for two years,
But what if I'm gay?
If I was it'd bring my parents tears, But what if I'm gay?
I'm a born and raised Christian kid,
But what if I'm gay?
Against, and for it, many have bid,
But what if I'm gay?
I've never kissed or touched a girl,
But what if I'm gay?
My whole life seems like a whirl,
But what if I'm gay?
The shame would be great,
But what if I'm gay?
It's me some'd come to hate,
But what if I'm gay?
I don't dress very feminine,
So what if I'm gay?
To others I keep listening,
So what if I'm gay?
I'm good at sports you see,
So what if I'm gay?
Voices I believe more than me,
So what if I'm gay?
They chant repeatedly so loud,
So what if I'm gay?
My own voice lost in the crowd,
So what if I'm gay?
My thoughts are no longer my own,
I guess I'm gay?
The seeds sown have grown,
I guess I'm gay.
I now act as they say,
I guess I am gay.
I won't choose my own way,
I guess I am gay.
Girls and boys-all the same.
I guess I am gay?
My thoughts now are so tame.
Am I really gay?
I still feel some shame.
Am I really gay?
Is it all the crowd's game?
Am I really gay?
Gay? I don't think I am!
Am I really gay?
Into my head these thoughts cram.
I'm not gay.
The crowd yells to this day.
I am not gay.
But I don't look their way.
I am not gay.
Their cries fall upon deaf ears,
I am not gay.
Their shouts ignored now for years.
I am not gay.

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