April Janvier

I look up
as a tear rolls slowly
down my cheek
I think about better days
...

I sat awake at night
Tears burning my face as they fall
The screaming echos of cries
Left alone in this cold dark room
...

If these walls could talk,
you'd know my body is dead,
my mind has been taken over,
that's why I am so scared,
...

Pain... Tension... Fatigue...
Depression...
Anger, Aggression, Frustration.
All these unwanted sensations -
...

get a funny feeling,
it comes from deep inside.
I get all mad and angry,
wanting to go and hide.
...

She is lonely
Even though you can't tell
She is reaching out
For what, she doesn't know
...

When we first met I made you promise
you would never leave,
then I told you of the demons,
and how they made me bleed.
...

Screeching tires, shattering glass,
twisting metal, fiberglass.
The scene is set it all goes black,
The curtain raised the final act.
...

Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl
It feeds on loneliness and creates a void
Gray shadows haunt and torment and torture
A teenager is stricken and destroyed
...

There is a great deal of depression that has overtaken my soul,
It floods deep within, into every inch that makes me whole.
I wonder and worry of thought throughout the day,
What is to come, to my dismay.
...

Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
...

...

I sat in the cold silent dark night
No stars or moon to lighten my path
It began to rain heavy drops of rain and hail
The stinging feeling against my skin
...

Your beauty intoxicates all you encounter,
Yet you fail to notice,
This is your blunder,
...

Something must be wrong with me
with all this hurt inside,
always bursting with anger,
and never any pride.
...

I'm swimming all alone in a pool of darkness
and I feel like darkness is slowly pulling me under
I yell for help but no one is there to hear it
I begin to see the water at eye level
...

Have you had cold showers of pain
My friend, you've stood in my rain
Deathly feeling of loneliness
No need to feel shameless
...

This smile of happiness and Joy
Once you take a look you see a perfect girl
Her beautiful perfect world
You share a laugh or two
...

I wonder every day 'why me'
I was only a kid with a pretty smile
The smile I once had now broken
Bruises still hidden under my skin
...

I will never forget the days we once had
The days when you were everything to me
My mind used to tell me we'd be together forever
But now I realize that was all a big dream
...