I don't want to.
But I will.
I always do.
I'll turn and look the other way.
...
I wish I could let go,
but I can not seem to.
It crawls back into my mind.
Like a recurring nightmare.
...
I feel cold and emotionless.
Like stone.
I feel uncaring and unmovable.
Like stone.
...
I do not understand.
Nor do i wish to.
I'll accept my ignorance
as a blessing.
...
It is a stinging sensation.
It makes me want to scream.
It raises rage inside of me.
As it boils over
...
You make me feel invincible
Yet vulnerable.
You are my biggest joy.
You are the reason i wake up.
...
As I am lost in your eyes
I think
I think of how your voice is oh so sweet.
It is music.
...
Conflict inside me.
Conflict around me.
I do not hate conflict.
I can not be bothered to hate it.
...
Enthusiasm, where have you gone?
We were one so close you and I.
We went hand in hand.
But now I can not seem to find you.
...
I wish i could express myself
like those people on the radio.
Like those people in the galleries.
I wish i could express myself.
...
As we make conversation.
We plant seeds into each others mind.
Over time they bloom into plants of all shapes, sizes, shades, and colors.
Plants of such beauty that this world has never seen.
...
I go in and out of my mind.
I feel then i don't.
I think then i'm blank.
I try and tell myself i am okay.
...
You would think by now i'd learn.
After so many times the lesson should be branded
into my mind but still i act ignorant.
In the end it will be the same.
...
I am alive but not living.
I am dead but still breathing.
I am empty on the inside.
Why can't I rest?
...
Confusion and delusion,
these are my symptoms.
I do not understand.
I can not comprehend.
...
Other Way.
I don't want to.
But I will.
I always do.
I'll turn and look the other way.
Wish I could just sit and stare.
Maybe even speak a bit.
But i fear the cold harsh breath of rejection.
So I turn and look the other way.