Brittany Gram

Brittany Gram Poems

The Best Poem Of Brittany Gram

Nothing Would Change

My whole life I have been plan B because when things don't go right, everyone comes to find me. At first this was a compliment, I thought they came to me for my wit, but it was for my innocence.See I never realized I was the door mat till I finally looked down to see the years of footprints I had unknowingly collected. When I look back now, I don't know how I never saw it, I was the walking tripod at parties, I spent nights fleeing from person to person to fill their attention till some one better came along. I never realized I was meant for the sidelines till I was silver in my own dreams. If I could go back now and retrace my path, I would avoid walking in other peoples foot steps because even though I made sure they never tripped or fell, there was no one in my wake doing the same for me. This could also be the reason I grew up an introvert, I craved to be alone because I knew that no one else would want to be with me anyway; sneaking my way through forests of people to find the quiet on the outside, secretly hoping some one had followed me. I spent everyday swallowing unspoken words and letting them flee through the ball point of my pen onto sheets of skin that I would use to try and patch the holes of rejection that were shot through me like a bullet, but I still went back to the gun apologizing for my blood that had spilled. You would think after years of being turned away I would learn my place but instead I go back again with the false hope it might finally be my turn to hold the trigger. What hurts more peoples words or none at all? sticks and stones may break my bones but I would rather have split bones instead of a split heart.The cast to fix a broken arm is a lot less heavy than the silence that pours down onto me each day. I've never known what its like to be looked at as if I was a snowflake, fearing each touch could be the one to send me away. I always gave out love forgetting to put a return to sender stamp on the post. Waiting for weeks by a mailbox that would always be empty. I wonder if I treated you the way you treated me than things would have turned out differently. What if I was the one to have you hang from my finger with a bungee cord, throwing you down knowing you would bounce right back up. What if I was the one to shut you out, closing the door in the eye of the hurricane; If I used you to wipe my feet nothing would change because you know at the end of the day, I'm the one who is going to do the laundry anyway.

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