Daniel W. Hunt

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This Is How To Make A Marriage Work

When I got married I had a rubber lizzard that I had for a number of years. The lizzard looked and felt real. So I said, Tonight I'm gonna have a little fun with my honey bun.
I slipped in bed and put the lizzard under the covers on her side of the bed. When I lay there in wait for the fun to begin.
She came in and hopped in beside me and landed on that lizzard.
She let out the awfulest blood curdling scream I ever heard.Then she started to cry. Then she screamed again. Then she cried some more.
Then she finally got her breath.
"O.K. You jerk. Take that lizzard and get out the door."
I put the lizzard in my dresser drawer before I went out the door.I thought our marriage had come to an end.
I promised her I'd never do that again.
All the people in town told my wife that she had married a clown that would never settle down.
I learned something that night when we had our first fight. If you treat your wife with respect and don't act like a jerk, your marriage is bound to work and she will even iron you shirts.
You can't expect her to earn your living. You've got to get off your duff and earn some of that spending stuff.
You may not have much money.
But you will alwyas have your honey. Which is worth more than all the money. You've got to settle down and quit your fooling around.
Trying to paint the town.
You can't sit in a bar.
And make the payment on your car.
The other side of the street may look greener, poison oak may look like four leave clover. But you will know the difference when it's all over.
My wife and I have been married almost fifty years now and that lizzard is still in my dresser drawer.

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