Dean Ingham

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Let me die...)

The Best Poem Of Dean Ingham

The Once Happy Boy

Darkness, sadness, lonliness, madness,
Anger, hatred, upset, iv faded
My life - pointless, myself - foresaken,
My goals - forgotten, my smile - taken
An empty shell of what was once overflowing,
Put on that act just to stop them from knowing
A happy boy full of life, joy and energy,
A lost soul full of terror, shame and agony
He remembers the days when everything was great,
This usually puts him back in ‘that state‘
The state of crying and wanting and pleading,
Looking up at the sky and watching it bleeding
He fantasises over suicide and an easy way out,
Punch his hand through his chest just to tear his heart out
Clawing at his head and his neck and his face,
Begging for something to pull him out of this place
When he was younger he was a believer in god,
Now he wears a bapthomay, and an inverted cross
Why is he so angry? Does he feel betrayed?
Did he do wrong by god? If so surly he's paid!
22 years old and ready to die,
Such a waste of life to just sit and cry
That happy boy who was a pleasure to be around,
He loved his life and everything in it, why cant he be found
His family want him back, they miss him so much,
He's been like this for so long that he's completly lost touch
So light up another joint and smoke the pain away,
Kidding himself that thats the best way
He's accepting some help and it will do him some good,
He doesnt believe that but knows that he should
He wakes up every day and curses his life,
That stinging sensation caused by the knife
He punches himself in the head and believes he deserves it,
For been weak and upset and a useless sack of s**t!
He wants to be strong and get a grip on reality,
Sees himself through his family's eyes as a fu***ng liability
Cries himself to sleep because he's so scared of this life,
Cries himself to sleep with a hug from his wife
In his eyes he's failed and its to late to go back,
Be a better father and husband and get back on track
I wish i could tell him that things will get better one day,
But he's made up his mind and he doesnt want to stay
The happiest time for him is when hes asleep in bed,
Dont pray for him, he's already dead.

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