Eleonora Woods

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The assignment said to write about what you're afraid of and don't stop until you know.
I am afraid of writing about what I am afraid of for I might find out of what I am afraid and I am very much afraid of that. But since I'm more afraid of people criticizing me and being cross, of having failed and feeling useless I write down what I'm afraid of and be done with it. With writing down I mean because being afraid goes on and on I am afraid.
I am afraid of losing self control or food or loved ones or so called securities.
I am afraid of what will happen when I'm not obliging anymore or listening. I am afraid of needing help for very basic things like going to the loo or lack of oxygen. I am afraid of losing money, of the panic and of needing help.


Silence is trailing through the dark where
I wake empty looking back.
my love is gone, hunting the sacred grounds.
The bone he left is brittle failing sadly


I feel a reed walking around
with a holy banner tied to it
and find the shreds are clinging
to the people in the street who


I am waiting for the Mother of All Things to come and
wrap her arms around my father. Hold him tight against her bosom so he can not hurt my brother anymore or make him cry. To hold him tight and tell him that he does not have to worry anymore about responsibility and love. That all- will be well and himself most of all. That all the strife is over and no one will haunt him anymore. And that my little brother will be hugged an soothed and accompanied from dusk ‘till dawn by loving eyes and hands and will not run around with wailing mouth and ailing eyes no more. And certainly he will not hang on to my father anytime to ache for his attention. For he will be full of joy and light instead of stricken fright and dumbfounding delight.
I long for her attention in this room where we all still participate in what we call: ‘Our Family’ that has been gone for many years now but still lives in every little heart that once was born between the two of those that stood at her beginning saying: ‘Yes, I Will’. Not knowing that they too were only wishing for the Mother of All Things to come.
She never came until it was too late and we were each in turn beginning somewhere saying: ‘Yes I Will’.

Toward The Heart


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7/31/2021 4:52:56 PM #