Harry Graham

Rating: 4.33
Rating: 4.33

Harry Graham Poems

When Grandmamma fell off the boat,
And couldn’t swim, and wouldn’t float,
Maria just sat by and smiled -
...

'There's been an accident!' they said,
'Your servant's cut in half; he's dead.'
'Indeed!' said Mr Jones, 'and please
...

Weep not for little Leonie,
Abducted by a French Marquis!
Though loss of honour was a wrench,
Just think how it's improved her French.
...

That morning, when my wife eloped
With James, our chauffeur, how I moped!
What tragedies in life there are!
I'm dashed if I can start the car.
...

Unscrupulous pigmongers will
Attempt to wheedle and to coax
...

To these few words, it seems to me,
A wealth of sound instruction clings;
O Learn to Take things easily --
Espeshly Other People's Things;
...

When Baby's cries grew hard to bear
I popped him in the Frigidaire.
I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff.
...

I never understood, I own,
What anybody (with a soul)
Could mean by offering a Stone
This needless warning not to Roll;
...

9.

Uncle, whose inventive brains
kept evolving aeroplanes,
fell from an enormous height
upon my garden lawn last night.
...

Though many men have made their mark
By rising daily with the lark,
'Tis not a plan I recommend ;
The practice no one can defend.
...

What is Enough? An idle dream!
One cannot have enough, I swear,
Of Ices or Meringues-and-Cream,
Nougat or Chocolate Eclairs,
...

Nurse, who peppered baby's face
(She mistook it for a muffin),
Held her tongue and kept her place,
'Laying low and sayin' nuffin'';
...

My children, you should imitate
The harmless, necessary cat,
Who eats whatever's on his plate,
...

Father heard his Children scream,
So he threw them in the stream,
Saying, as he drowned the third,
'Children should be seen, not heard!'
...

An angle bore dear Uncle Joe
To rest beyond the stars.
I miss him, oh! I miss him so, --
He had such good cigars.
...

Billy, in one of his nice new sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes;
Now, although the room grows chilly,
...

Naughty little Hannah said
She could make her grandma whistle,
So, that night, inside her bed
Placed some nettles and a thistle.
...

Sam has spirits naught could check,
And to-day, at breakfast, he
Broke his baby sister's neck,
So he shan't have jam for tea!
...

19.

Baby in the cauldron fell, --
See the grief on Mother's brow;
Mother loved her darling well, --
Darling's quite hard-boiled by now.
...

O'er the rugged mountain's brow
Clara threw the twins she nursed,
And remarked, 'I wonder now
Which will reach the bottom first?'
...

Harry Graham Biography

Jocelyn Henry Clive 'Harry' Graham (23 December 1874 – 30 October 1936) was an English writer. He was a successful journalist and later, after distinguished military service, a leading lyricist for operettas and musical comedies, but he is now best remembered as a writer of humorous verse in the tradition of grotesquerie and black humour exemplified by the verses of W. S. Gilbert and Hilaire Belloc. Graham is best remembered for his series of cheerfully cruel Ruthless Rhymes, first published in 1898 under the pseudonym Col. D. Streamer, a reference to his regiment. These were described by The Times, in an editorial that compared him to Edward Lear, Lewis Carroll and W. S. Gilbert, as "that enchanted world where there are no values nor standards of conduct or feeling, and where the plainest sense is the plainest nonsense".The Oxford Dictionary of National Biography also compares his verse with that of W. S. Gilbert and suggests that his prose was an early influence on P. G. Wodehouse. Graham's other light verse exhibited a delight in language, and not only his native one, as in his response to the news that Wilhelm II, visiting Brussels, spoke at length with Baron de Haulleville, Director of the Congo Museum, in French, German and English.)

The Best Poem Of Harry Graham

Indifference

When Grandmamma fell off the boat,
And couldn’t swim, and wouldn’t float,
Maria just sat by and smiled -
I almost could have slapped the child!

Harry Graham Comments

Harry Graham Quotes

Weep not for little Leonie, Abducted by a French Marquis! Though loss of honour was a wrench, Just think how it's improved her French.

I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.

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