Heather Rebel

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The Best Poem Of Heather Rebel

Secret, She Knows But Dont Care

I can’t help but wonder what she thinks of me,
The poser looking for a way to her affections,
Acting in ways I’ve never known I could before,
Giving smiles that I can’t help but show in her presence,
Just hoping for a glimpse of her eyes
In which I can’t help but drown

I can’t help but wonder if she thinks me an inferior,
Playing the fool to a game that I cannot play
Without losing myself in the end.
Does she see my smiles as they really are,
or just as she wants them to seem?
Does she see the truth in them and think it best
To ignore what I so hesitantly hide beneath this scarred skin?

I can’t help wonder if she can see through me,
Straight into the heart that I’ve hidden so deeply within,
Hoping for it not to be found.
Can those pools of hers see the glances I hide
Every time that I pull my eyes away?
Can she see the heartache I feel deep inside,
Knowing that it is impossible for emotions like mine
to exist in someone like her?

I can’t help but wonder, but I know that in that action,
I find myself in the same place as before,
Drowning in my own sweet sorrows,
Pushing my emotions on one I love but not as much.
I find myself dying with a wound or poison,
Without Death’s true grip on my soul,
But merely dying from love’s arrow in my heart,
Cursing Cupid’s true aim and my hesitance to miss,
As well as my heart, who’s seemingly dead without her existence.

And now, I do but see her passing by,
My wonderings amiss in a mind long lost,
And I am back to life, my smiles once more alive,
Once more vibrant in a way I can’t keep them from me.
It hurts, but it’s painfully good in a way I cannot ignore.
And, when she is gone, my heart is with her,
Lost forever in a tide of endless sorrows…

And by this promise I take my leave
To wander endlessly through my emotions
To make some sense of what I have lost
She feels like a mother but not mine
However much I wish it so to be
She can never know just how much I care about her
That is mine to know and only mine

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