James Craig

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Surrender

I lie here in my bed with nothing else to keep me sane
My tears flow down my jaw, with each dropp I feel more pain
All alone always and it finally has broken me down
I can’t even scream but I cry in my pillow so loud yet not making a sound
No one will care, they never have and the smiles are just for show
I thought if I tried real hard at life, that my happiness would grow
But the more I tried the more I failed and now I feel weak
Where is the joy of life and the pleasure that I seek
Always being made fun of, neglected and disrespected
when I know its not deserved
While the people who are normal have no voice and they just sit and observe
All alone always and it has finally broken me down
I’ve fallen into such a depression, deeper than any hole in the ground
I have given up on love and the idea of passion and friends
The rest of my life will be long and painful and have a miserable end
My sexuality is questioned, and my body is not in style
My spirit is not athletic and my face is not made to smile
The family that I have is a family I don’t know
And the word friend, is just a synonym for “so”
My heart beats harder, and harder with regret
I horror the fact that I even tried to forget
I wanted to break out of my anxiety and loneliness so bad
Now that I failed, I never imagined I could be so sad.
All alone always and it has finally broken me down
My tears cause a flood in my room; to bad no one cares that I’ll drown.

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