Jesking Amu

Destiny is… destiny was… and destiny forever will be!
How then is a man the author of his own fate?
How then do you tell me, if I set my mind to anything, I can achieve everything?
I asked once, and I ask now, again…
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Is this normal? I can hear my heart beat
I can feel my brain breathe, even in my sleep, I can feel, I can here myself pant
In my own dilemma, I am thrown aback
It feels like success here is failure there
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I haven't written in a while…
So many things I want to let out, but I sit before the keyboard and my hands just freeze
Lazy! Wremedi! You're being lazy, that's what most people say
Buh I do not write not because I'm being lazy
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I'm no longer a boy, I'm a man now.
I have no cars, no girl to call ma lady, no family of my own, except the one I was ushered into when I crawled out of my mama's womb.
And I must say, aside the gift of life from the Lord above, it is ma greatest blessing.
But not my greatest possession.
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Naked and alone, that's how we all came to the earth
Ushered into families to start a whole different journey
One we never asked to be placed in…
The lucky ones die at birth or are dumped into bins and still die anyway…
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I'm in a conflicted state of mind right now
Hovering between whether to do
What I love to do or to play along and make it seem like I love doing what they see me do
Destined for greatness
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It always ends where it begins.
I loved you, you didn't.
I persisted, you gave in.
I loved you, you loved me
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More often than not the heart just wishes the body would give up
The things we hear, the things what hear make us feel, the choices they cause us to make
Hmm… the head begins to feel so heavy, anyone would choose a headache over it…
Life! Life never puts us in the right positions to make the best of decisions.
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we thought we were strong.
we thought we had it all under control
but no!
yes! we were hard, but not strong
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Growing up and making mistakes we can't re-fix.
Makes me begin to comprehend how the "suicider" had the suicidal thought.
Makes me begin to wonder how things can ever get better.
Makes me begin to ponder; "what if? " what if that step back there had never been taken?
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