Jon Yttri Biography
I was born in Milwaukee. Later, I moved with family to Glencoe, Illinois: a suburb of Chicago. Later, they moved to Stockton, Illinois; midway between Rockford, Illinois and Dubuque, Iowa; to edit a newspaper. They later moved to Evansville, Wisconsin, midway between Madison and Janesville. They edited a newspaper there too. After graduating high school, I attended junior college at Richland Center, and college at UW-Whitewater. I majored in journalism. I never graduated. After my mother died, I moved in with my father, who relocated to his boyhood home of Stoughton,16 miles southeast of Madison. I worked as a security guard. My father died after I relocated to Madison. I worked as a page in the Wisconsin state assembly. I worked in the dishroom of a restaurant, Ovens of Brittany. I worked as a courier at the University of Wisconsin. I quit to devote full time to my writing.
I was a poor student and a poor athlete in school. I never had a girlfriend until recently. When I was a teenager I used to hate myself. Later I decided the only reason I had for hating myself was the mere fact that I did.
I would pay much more than I can ever afford
To undue the harm I have done.
Maybe God makes us bad at first
So we'll be better in the long run.
...
My rich uncle loved me so much, he wouldn't include me in his will.
Because he didn't want me as a suspect in case he was murdered.
Nowhere is a compliment met with less gratitude than at a funeral.
Anyone who tells you he is afraid of death, can't be speaking from experience.
...
I'm an pessimist.
I heard it will snow.
I'm an optimist.
I heard it will be ideal for skiing, snowing, and building snowmen.
...
The crack and shine of opening a new textbook.
The feeling of too warm to wear a t-shirt under my shirt in the afternoon and too cold in the morning not to wear one.
The sparkling new desk on the first day of class.
Standing single-file in a crowded line carrying a tray in the cafeteria.
...
Alligators have long jaws.
Lions have sharps claws.
A giraffe has a neck that reaches and reaches.
Fish go to school, but nobody teaches.
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12/7/2025 5:02:16 PM # 1.0.0
