Maybe I wasn't meant to be here for everything I try, I fail. Sometimes it makes me want to bail. Even when I know it will get better, I feel like it's only getting worse.

The walls all around me are closing in...Sometimes I feel trapped in. Inside a room of hate failure, and some deny. People can't get in because I'm trapped and once they do, they cannot get out.

I try so hard to make it right again, to have the life I once did, but someone close to my heart, made it all wrong again...Maybe it will be all right, I can last a little longer, But I need help.

So much shit goin' through my head makes me want to stay in bed and be in a true happy place where I can be and see a true happy face, But who's will that be? Who will make me happy? I think I've let to many guys in. They seem to come and go, but I know I'll find that happy face.

I have hope and I won't let that go. But maybe I shouldn't live in a false reality...It can only bring me down, to the ground. So I'll start living my life forgetting all the bad and stop being mad, and if it so happens to fail, I will finally bail. I know I might be missed, some might even be pissed, but you are all the reasons this happened. You tried, but failed.

My hope is starting to die. Maybe I should die, what do you think? I need some opinion, my mind cannot think. I'm so confused you wouldn't believe, how much I need. I need more hope for my non-meaning life. Will you give me hope? If not, I don't know what to do. My therapist said I need medication. It worries me and her to take it, How will it be? Will it kill me? Or help me out here? There are so many things it could do, but for now I'll stay blue