Kelisha Finlay

Kelisha Finlay Poems

The Best Poem Of Kelisha Finlay

Behind The Smiles

Lying here so still thinking I got no will,
Drip in my hand I can hardly stand,
My life waited for my death to come but this is no fun,
My loved ones around me making me slightly happy,
I won't be there for celebrations nor for my relations.

Morphine drips from a bag down a tube, inserted in my arm feeling like an ice cube,
It drags behind me, step by step, a relief of the pain and ready for the prep,
That blurs my vision which means supervision.
My frigid fingertips trace the length of the morphine tube feeling cold again. Ice cube.
That leads to where all others do I think I have a fever I'm cold n' feeling ill too.
My hand presses on my forehead, my bones, and my teeth rattle as I'm lying in bed.
One sheet, two sheets, one blanket and the fire lit two blankets three blankets four I'm feeling sicker than before.
Temperature taken, the reading is not mistaken, I close my eyes and sigh and want to get to sleep.... Well try.
I press the button for more morphine as I lean it sips,
drip
drip
drip.
My trembling fingers reach for a cup as I return to my lips I slowly slurp it up
I need to be strong.... It's just the beginning and I don't seem to be winning.
Many more days are coming fast for no worldly cause but fighting to save my life with all these sores.
Wednesday, Thursday, two more days until I start my first chemo and radiation I don't know if I'm feeling relief or frustration.
As I take a deep breath I get a tear in one eye, wiping it clean dry.
I can't take any more pain than this I just want to be dismissed.
The doctor walked in her eyes stuck to the floor I squeezed my mums hand because I had no idea what was in store mum looked and said
' listen baby she got something to say just hold my hand tight everything will be okay',
she said ' now what I'm going to say isn't as bad as it sounds but this tumour, infection is more then we found'.
I still didn't get it I didn't know what to say nothing hit me more than the word cancer came my way.

Kelisha Finlay Comments