Luke Martin

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When I Saw Another Mass Shooting

When I saw the twin towers crash, I ran right into the rubble.
Because as first responder your job is to respond first.
Because you're supposed to be the hero.
You're supposed to be the Superman that the kids see in the movies.
Ready to sweep them out of their misery.
You're supposed to take the cries, the moans, and the flatlines
Compartmentalize and stuff it in the back of your head and forget about them.
They say don't give them names.
Don't personalize it.
But I couldn't.
Not after I ran into the rubble.
Not after I saw those Joeys, and Terrys, and Marys screaming for my help.
And you're supposed to be okay.
You're supposed to forget about everything you saw.
You're supposed to be able to fight the devil and win.
You're supposed to just keep calm and carry on.
But what if you can't?

This is for those high schoolers more afraid of gunshots than grades
This is for Las Vegas tourists just looking for a good time
This is for the LGBTQ community finally finding their voice Pulse only to thave it taken away
This is for the father who went to Sandy Hook and saw his 6 year old daughters lifeless body
Because this is for that 6 year old girl

This is because we must rise up
This is because

Because sometimes I feel like 9/11 is a pointing a gun to my head ready to pull the trigger,
Tell me why I should keep living if the bad dreams won't stop.
Why should I keep living when I've pushed everyone away but I still need their help.
And sometimes I have a gun in my own hand, ready to pull the trigger.

But I can't. Because then I think of those Joeys, and Terrys, and Marys that died in the rubble. And I force myself to think they died for me. So that I could live. So that I could get help. And I put my gun down. Everytime.

Because when I ran into the rubble I left a piece of me right there
It's gonna take a whole lotta time but at least I realized that I need help.
I'm just sayin' sometimes the rescuers, need a bit of rescuing

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