Mathangi Sunderrajan

Mathangi Sunderrajan Poems

The Best Poem Of Mathangi Sunderrajan

The (Lost)last Generation

To be able to say what you really feel,
Without fear or sounding brazen or hurting souls,
To do what you want, not what you ought to;
Be respectful, be humble, be nice and calm.
All over-rated platitudes, to clip your wings or hold your tongue.
A well-raised girl from a ' good family'- demure and delicate
But strong enough to withstand all assault, open or veiled.
An ideal daughter in law, to carry the burdens and the lineage;
A friend, an agony aunt, a hostess, a cook, a house keeper
To keep the flag of the family's name flying high.
A wife par excellence, gracious and a pillar of support
When things go wrong, an ambassador to maintain peace at home.
A great mother, a woman with no expectations of her own! !

Oh hoots! Nothing in return indeed!
Who pays for my sleepless nights, bone weary work?
Sealing my mouth, forcing a smile, swallowing a snide remark;
The rituals and celebrations that left me drained and quickened my aging.
The silk sarees that fill my wardrobe in every hue and combination.
The diamonds and gold that lay in the dark recesses of my locker-
Will they quell my resentments or regrets?
Or restore my health or numb my senses?

Well, finally, I did try to find my voice;
As In -laws gaze down benignly from framed pictures.
And the fledglings having flown to thrive in distant lands,
The sprawling house is silent with a sole mistress.
My spouse is a shadow of his old self, wrapped in his own world.
My bones creak with arthritis and I peer into the future, expectantly.
.
I gather myself with all my strength.
I want to shout; say outrageous things.
Show an attitude; break decades old rules.
But wait, my voice is so feeble, no more than a squeak.
Nothing outrageous breaks the barriers of my mind.
My sassiness is taken for a poor joke.
And rules which were ropes that throttled me,
Are my lifelines that now define me.
I surrender. I open a window as all doors are closed.

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