melancholy sunshine Poems

I have no idea what i want to say. I desperately need to break through this malaise I'm in and pronto! Don't think I want to teach anymore although at heart I still love kids. Waning enthusiasm in every facet of life at this point. I think I might be doomed to fall into repeated doldrums strongly tied to a lack of diversity. Or to put it plainly; Habit is a soul killer.
I need to reinvest in myself and pronto! No, that's not what I wanted to say. I wanted to point out that Buddhist doctrine(bad word - make it teachings!) really seems to jibe with what i keep going through. My karmic cycle is stuck in overdrive and I can't stop the spin cycle! (Mixed metaphors are part of my cycle too, I think.) Sunshine; love or habit(make that craving. Craving for physical and emotional proximity to a separate, living and breathing, being. I thought I could escape the vortex but I guess its an ineluctable aspect of the human condition. I guess i qualify after all. Still, its not very considerate of Lori Lee, is it? ? At the moment doing the right thing for Lori is damned hard to commit to.{Ironic, eh, the right thing (being the antithesis of commitment) is very hard to commit to.} ========
Break for call from Sunshine- I was hoping to get a chance to use the 'up a tree' line. ========
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