Ah Valentine that ferocious bum
Makes women swoon just for fun
Costs me a packet in cards and stamps
And the return is a kiss just to say thanks.

What more would I ask for, now that would be rude
To see you all naked and reacting all crude
First in a maids shift and then as a nurse
or perhaps a stern policewoman what could be worse.

Dear Valentine well man thanks a lot
No one is speaking because I forgot
If it wasn't for you perhaps I'd be rich
with a house full of women not wearing a stitch.

We men have it hard at this time of year
sending out flowers and calling you dear
with tons of chocolates tied with red ribbon
All sorts of goodies, many forbidden.

and then we get told 'Oh but you shouldn't
or get boxed ears because this year we didn't
Its a no win day for men the world round
so again thanks a lot Eros you clown.

Happy Valentine I'll say to you
I hope you enjoy the day and not be blue
Forget all my moaning its all done in fun
I'm sending this love to a wonderful one