Anger, burning up inside
Monster, growing more powerful with every word
Control, dreadfully slipping away
Myself, slipping into the dark corners of my mind
...
“STOP IT, ” I yelled to the empty room, I wanted myself to stop thinking about him. Darien was a murderer, he killed people, he was a monster, he wasn’t even human, and he was my best friends brother. My mind didn’t listen, as I drifted unconscious his face played across my dreams and I imagined him being close to me, I could almost feel his deep steady breaths, so far apart. I could smell the fresh night air, I could feel his eyes watching me. “Hey, ” I whispered, I had no voice, I had no power, I had no control, he was in the perfect position to kill me, I would never be able to move, to react.
I opened my eyes, he was there, he was real, I wasn’t dreaming, he had a dagger in his hand, it looked like glass, with a ruby handle and gold scrollwork, the blade was sharp, I could feel it against my stomach, he had me. Then suddenly he flew back, it took me a moment to process, the weight lifted, he was pushed against my living room wall, then he ran onto my deck. I got up and ran after him. He wasn’t there, the cold was sharp, I couldn’t stay out there. I didn’t even ask how he got down, I had been saved by him, I knew what he could do.
Had he tried to kill me?
Why didn’t he?
...
Sometimes I think about the way we left it
Without a single word
Open wounds
Slammed doors
...
I am learning life
Step by step
I wanna be someone
I am learning how
...
Sitting silently
watching the world go by
beautiful scenes play out
sweet serenity
...
reality is going away
slipping silently from my grasp
Shameless and nameless I am told
collapsing into unconsciousness
...
One last smile
One last tear
One last goodbye
I struggle in your grasp
...
I’m screaming
It’s all I can do
I am screaming
Because no one will hear me
...
You bring you bring tears to my eyes
I can’t sit back and watch this anymore
What you do to to hurt you
Hurts me hurts you
...
There is a boy
He looks at his broken world
The story of his life
Why does he live this way
...
Give me a daisy
I'll think you're insincere
Give me a violet
I'll think you are strange
...
Anger, burning up inside
Monster, growing more powerful with every word
Control, dreadfully slipping away
Myself, slipping into the dark corners of my mind
...
life is hell no way to heaven
hell is dark no light to see
dark is like the sky little stars
little lights that clearn the dark
...
life is hard and it's just begin
life is sweet but it's not over
life is hell on way to heaven
life is dark no light to see
...
Screams
Anger, burning up inside
Monster, growing more powerful with every word
Control, dreadfully slipping away
Myself, slipping into the dark corners of my mind
Darkness, swallowing me
Light, showing me my flaws
Death, beckoning me to
Sorrow, strangling my throat
Screams, suffocating my voice
The mirror, showing me the monster’s face
It was always there, the monster
It was always there, the anger
The anger made me sick inside, it made my stomach turn
It made me do the things I said I’d never do
It made me into the person I said I'd never become
I try to restrain it, but it has a mind of its own
Anger is a parasite, anger is the monster within
Waiting, watching, for the perfect moment to take control