Mr. Bumstead

Candles lit the room,
As I sit alone writing.
Thinking about a beautiful girl
Heaven sent, I see her smile now
...

Your bottom lip
Being pierced,
Really turns me on.
And so does your body art.
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On a diet of salt and razor blades
Zooming
Sober, but drunk.
You introduce me as your friend…
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Jody,

I just can’t describe in words the way that you make me feel. It is truly like a supernatural force brought us together. I choose to call this force God.
I never once felt this way before. And I know it is truth.
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The sunshine that filled the mornings sky was like a breath of fresh air sent from God…To remind me that brighter days are NOW here. And that my perception of this light and life will determine the quality of what I call living. As my face is radiantly warmed by the touch of God’s hand, thoughts of an unconditional love strengthen my heart and move my soul. And I think of you…my love…My soul’s match…made in heaven above., Whose name is imprinted on my heart.

I have never loved anyone as much as I do you. And I have never felt so strongly about two people being together as I do about you and I.
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I dreamt of you last night. After awakening from a frightening dream, I fell back to sleep again, deeply into love, with you. And quite frankly, I can only remember ‘your face’. That was the dream part. Looking into your eyes. Staring at your face. And feeling hopelessly in love with you. I woke up wanting to hold you, but you were gone.

I started the day wanting to write you a poem. Asking myself subconsciously: ‘if I write the poetry or if the poetry writes me’?
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Love is like a proverb that originated
Somewhere on north Buchanan street.
I sit and get high
On the old man’s smoldering cigarette,
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I met a beautiful girl today.
She was walking up town
In front of my apartment
When she came close
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Admirer from a far
Is like..
Whiskey in a jar.
Waiting to be unleashed.
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This morning I spoke to God. I told him about my love for you and about my dream of having you as my wife. He listened to me and felt the words that I spoke. Without speaking, he answered me.
This all came to me in a dream that I dreamt while awake.
(The sky darkened. Lightening larger than life momentarily split the blackness with a deafening crash. Then all I could hear was the low sound of thunder rolling off the tip of the sky.)
God confirmed the dysfunctional relationship you were in and the abuse and destructive pain that your soul endured.
...

Every single prayer that I prayed with you,
sent me to a heaven I never ever knew.

You holding my hand and standing beside of me,
...

Last night you told me that I was smothering you. This pains me deeply for I know it is truth. It reminds me of a time I smothered my ex-wife. I smothered her with whiskey breath and neglect. You know this story all too well don’t you? ..For many years she prayed for me to change. Finally a day came when she just prayed to be free from me. I don’t miss her nor do I ever want her back, but what hurts me the most is that I was oblivious of my actions. I told myself that I would never let my soul get lost again, …never get caught up with the tormenting demons of the night. So I put down the bottle and looked toward a new way of living. I sent prayer after prayer away to a God of my understanding. I asked him for a second chance, but actually he had given me many many second chances in my life.

Sometime before the end of the year 2007, I promised God and myself that I would never be so blind to a woman’s love again; bargaining that if God would only place that perfect woman into my life, that I would love her like I have never loved before, treating her with respect and dignity, and always putting her before myself.
I prayed this woman would be my best friend and perfect lover, my wife and my soul mate…
...