2014 Poem by princess honestly_sad

I just sit here and stare at a computer screen
Wondering what life means
I dream of all these beautiful and exciting things
While I'm too scared to go out and do one fucking bit of it
How the hell is some self-conscious little lazy shit like me supposed to become anything?
I'm not satisfied with becoming a nobody
But it's inevitable
I told myself awhile ago that if I have to become a nobody
Then I'd like to be a nobody that I could be proud of
Frankly, I just don't think that's possible
Other times I wonder
What if I conquered the entire fucking world?
I still wouldn't be satisfied
Because it wasn't the entire universe
But should I let that stop me from trying?
I have no clue anymore
Maybe if I spent less time just fucking sitting here
on my lazy ass
I'd be happier with myself
and my life
and those around me
I'd be less depressed
If I actually made a fucking change
But change takes effort and a certain willingness
And I can't find it
I don't even know where to look